#2 I find myself wondering, "How long can this possibly last?"
[Insert suspenseful music here: dum-dum-dummmm]
A while back my friend posted a link on Facebook to a WebMD article titled "12 Possible Heart Symptoms Never to Ignore"
The article was very informative, but the thing that stuck with me came with the first symptom, ANXIETY:
Heart attack survivors often talk about having experienced a sense of "impending doom."I've never thought of myself as an anxious person.
I'm not really a worrier.
However, I do find find myself often feeling that something bad is bound to happen...anytime now.
Since reading that article I now affectionately call this feeling "IMPENDING DOOM" [dum-dum-dummmm].
Maybe my life has just been too cushy.
It's definitely not been all cake and ice cream all the time, but I definitely can't complain.
Or maybe I'm subconsciously expecting the worst because then perhaps it won't happen...because you know "a watched pot never boils," right?
As part of our home school I "force" my children to read from the McGuffey's Eclectic Readers. King and Duke have both "suffered" through them...I personally really like most of the stories. One of my favorites is in McGuffey's Fifth Reader. It's a story about a man on a train heading home after being away for a long time. He's been out of the country earning his fortune while his wife and his children have been home in poverty. As he nears the station he is overwhelmed with excitement and the anxious feeling that he won't make it to them safely. He tells another passenger, the narrator of the story, that his good luck can't last:
It rains so hard, sometimes, that you think it's never going to stop; then it shines so bright you think it's always going to shine; and just as you are settled in either belief, you are knocked over by a change, to show you that you know nothing about it.The narrator then assures the man by saying, "Well, according to your philosophy you will continue to have sunshine because you are expecting a storm."
That's where I find myself. Sitting in the sun, expecting a storm. Kinda messed up.
So, how do I still consider myself "not a worrier"?
I've been studying Genesis lately and have learned a lot about Abraham. Genesis 22 contains a prime example of Abraham facing "impending doom." The Lord has just told him to take Isaac, the son "whom you love", and offer him as a sacrifice. Abraham packs up and heads out. He just goes...walking into what seems to be the sure death of his son. When Isaac asks where the lamb is for the sacrifice Abraham says, "God will provide." AND THERE IT IS! That's the key! Abraham's faith cuts so deep that he believes the Lord will provide even in the face of death...even after death! (Heb. 11:19)
The story ends not with doom, but with provision. The Lord DOES provide...Jehovah Jireh.
We all know we're going to die someday. (Pause...I had just written that sentence when Ace, who's sitting behind the computer and has no idea what I'm doing or thinking says, "Mom, you know someday you're going to die and Dad's going to have to take care of us." Thanks son! No wonder I have feelings of impending doom. Hahaha.) Anyway...
We all know there will be hard times...The world is a sick, dangerous place. We don't have to live our lives in doom and gloom though. We can walk on in faith, daily faith.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:7
But what if we choose not to?
Iv and I made the mistake of watching a comedian on TV not long ago. He was kinda funny at first and the crowd was laughing normally. Then (as seems to be the norm for many comedians) he started making fun of Christianity. The crowd, which was in Atlanta, ERUPTED with cheers and laughter. Perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised, and I wasn't surprised at his jokes, I just couldn't believe how it affected the crowd! The comedian revealed that he had gone to church when he was younger, heard all the stories, started to believe, and then rejected it all. I'm sure that's a lot of people's story. The saddest part is that the rest of his act revealed deep regret for other things he'd done in his life, as well as a real fear for the future. He had no hope. I couldn't blame him for these feelings...what is there in this world to give someone hope and security?
I'm sure this is one of the verses he heard and rejected...I'm sorry he missed the message:
We have hope for eternal life in Jesus. Through faith we have freedom from regret and fear:
He may not take away our physical "impending doom," but like Abraham we need to keep walking in faith...being SURE of what we do not see. (Hebrew 11:1)
Our days on this earth are numbered...some of us seem to be more aware of this than others. Whatever the degree of your morbidness :), let us pray with Moses: