The Fight to Finish

#1 I knew it would be like this.
#2 I just didn't know it would be like this.

The Fight to Finish

I knew that it was going to be a long four months. IV had already been gone for eight, and I knew the last four were going to be the hardest of them all.

I ran a marathon last November, and I was already comparing these four months to the last 10 kilometers of that race.  It's all a mind game at that point. 

For me (and for many like me) when you hit 20 miles your body starts rebelling.  It screams, "You can't do it!  It's too hard!  It's not worth it!  You can't win this fight!"  Of course, this is (mostly) false. Since this was my second marathon I was prepared for this...I had my arsenal of mind games to get me to the finish line.  "Stronger, faster, better" is one thing I said to myself, and then I said it again, and then I said it again, and again, and again, and again, until I had the finish line in view. 

I was preparing for this last leg of IV's contract in the same way...I was loading up on Bible verses and prayer and plans to get me through.  I felt like I was being strong, but I think the Lord just wants to see what I'm made of. :)  I'll tell ya, it's not much...not by myself. 

I'm pretty sure everybody has moments of weakness. (Okay, I'm definitely sure about this.)  Times when we think and do things that we never thought we would think or do.  Sometimes, it's tempting to just stay in the weakness and sin, because it's easy and we kind of like it.  Our flesh says to us, "You can't do it!  It's too hard!  It's not worth it!  You can't win this fight!"  But, this is definitely false!  We can do it WITH CHRIST!  That, of course, is the only way. 

We sang this song at church on Sunday...just what I needed:
Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You 
Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
The Lord is so gracious and patient with me.  I knew I was stumbling and I needed Him, but I still wasn't convinced I really wanted to be picked up.  I just wanted to "be".  Then I read this:

Psalm 32

Blessed is the one
    whose transgressions are forgiven,
    whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the one
    whose sin the Lord does not count against them
    and in whose spirit is no deceit.
When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
    your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
    as in the heat of summer.[b]
Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
    my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
    the guilt of my sin.
Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
    while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
    will not reach them.
You are my hiding place;
    you will protect me from trouble
    and surround me with songs of deliverance.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
Do not be like the horse or the mule,
    which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle
    or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked,
    but the Lord’s unfailing love
    surrounds the one who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous;
    sing, all you who are upright in heart!
Every word was the Lord speaking straight to me.  Confess the sin, accept forgiveness, and then rest in His protection and instruction!  Beautiful!

He cares for me, and He cares for you...all we have to do is accept the gift of His forgiveness. (Romans 6:23)

And don't give up the fight! (1 Corinthians 9:25-27)




Comments

  1. What a great reminder of how great is our Lord! You are in my prayers.

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