It's Not All Peaches

Today King, my six-year-old, was talking to usual. I was attempting to read my newest Runner's World magazine and take a little mental break. It wasn't working. Finally, after King once again required a response to another too-in-depth analysis of a cartoon character's action, I replied sharply, "Okay, that's great." Too bad King's too smart for that.
He looked at me, obviously disappointed,  and said, "Why are you never happy?"
Shot through the heart.
The sad thing is I knew exactly what he was talking about. I tend to, unintentionally, run my "mother business" in a very focused way. I'm not overly strict or structured about anything but it's my state of mind that's the controlling factor. I know there's a certain order and a certain way that things must be done so as not to cause a breakdown of any one person or the house itself. I think by constantly having this "control switch" on...though it's mostly in my head...I become somewhat stern, like Miss Polly in Pollyanna. 
Anyway, it was a wake-up call. I just told King that I was sorry and I don't know why I'm like that...because at first I didn't know. I'll pray for more joy. It will be easier when IV's here full-time and I'll actually get to have more adult conversation. Not that cartoon conversations are boring or anything. :)


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